The Unanswered Questions: My Journey Through Countless Surgeries and Endless Diagnostic Sheets

Trust is a fundamental part of healthcare. For years, I placed my complete trust in doctors, just like my parents did before me. This belief led me down a challenging path filled with over thirty surgeries, each presenting more questions than answers. These procedures included surgeries for my appendix and gallbladder, alongside countless other interventions. Yet, despite all this, I still find myself grappling with persistent questions that seem to linger without resolution.

As I reflect on my journey, one key aspect remains unexamined: the reasons behind my ongoing medical issues. Why do my tendons tear so easily? Why do scans often fail to reveal what’s happening in my body? Why have I experienced multiple fractures throughout my life? Even with a diagnostic sheet that resembles a lengthy novel, the answers evade me, making me feel more like an enigma than a patient. Or is that just how the doctors treat me? The other question that remains unanswered is; Why haven't we asked why? Why has this happened to my body?

The Trust That Led to Surgery

From my earliest memories, doctor visits were routine. Each appointment brought a mix of hope and anxiety, which developed into trust—perhaps too much trust. I assumed that my doctors, with their medical knowledge, understood my health best. My parents had raised me to believe that doctors worked tirelessly for our well-being, and I carried that belief into adulthood.

Over time, that trust resulted in numerous surgeries, largely reactions to urgent health crises rather than proactive measures. For example, I underwent surgery for an emergency appendectomy and another for a torn ligament in my knee. Each time, I lay on the operating table wondering if anyone would investigate the deeper issues causing my problems or merely treat the symptoms.

I do not intend to criticize the medical field. They have saved my life when it mattered most. However, I began to question whether we were overlooking the broader picture—that understanding the root causes should be a key goal in healthcare.

The Diagnostic Sheet: A Lengthy Odyssey

My diagnostic sheet serves as a record of my medical journey. It reads like an encyclopedia filled with complex terminology, detailing each painful experience. Despite consulting numerous physicians and specialists, I have yet to receive clear guidance on managing my conditions or suggestions for a healthier future. That is not entirely fair; natural and eastern medicine have given me some guidance, and the healthy path I find myself on today.

The conversations often reflect a familiar cycle: every discussion circles back to treating immediate issues without addressing their origins. For instance, I once visited a specialist after breaking my leg, only to be provided with treatment options for the fracture rather than exploring the underlying bone density issues. It makes me wonder: are doctors so focused on treating conditions that they neglect to explore their origins? I long for not just solutions but also a clear understanding of why my body behaves the way it does.

I spent four years dragging an ankle that was too painful to walk on and begging the Orthopedists to look past the nerve damage and fix the structural issues. Why did this subtalar fusion never heal? Instead I was gas-lit into surgeries to deal with other issues. The questions of why never asked. I remember sitting in one office with two different doctors telling me that an amputation wasn't the answer. It would only cause more pain in the form of phantom limb. I was too young. It was the nerves over acting and I shouldn't be in that much pain. Even with imaging proving a non-union (separation or new bone growth after a prolonged period of time) my home-town doctors refused to address it. They refused to help is how it feels.

I am a zebra in a world where they are only looking for horses.

The Search for Answers

In my quest for answers, I have taken on an active role in my health journey. I am no longer a passive participant; I aim to challenge the norm. During consultations, I often ask pointed questions to uncover the underlying causes of my problems. For example, I inquire about why my tendons snap like rubber bands and why imaging tests often yield inconclusive results.

Responses vary. Occasionally, I hear that these issues are simply part of my anatomy. Other times, I receive vague suggestions that lack scientific support. This lack of clarity is frustrating, making me feel as though I'm wandering in a maze without a clear exit.

I have also sought complementary therapies like physical therapy, acupuncture, message, chiropractic, weight training and nutritional guidance. These options provide additional layers to my healing process but rarely address the core issues. Instead, they help me manage daily challenges, while the deep-rooted questions remain unresolved.

There are books and theories from those like Louise Hay and Joe Dispensa that talk about the mind and body connection. I truly believe and have seen in my own life this connection; but that is a thought for another blog post.

Every Break and Tear Tells a Story

Each surgery and medical intervention leaves behind both physical and emotional scars. My body tells a story through its wounds; yet it is the deeper narrative that plays on repeat in my mind. Every fracture or tendon tear is not simply a medical event; it represents the resilience required to move forward.

As diagnoses accumulate, I contend with the emotional weight that follows. Frustration, confusion, and despair frequently accompany me on this path. Some days, I am determined to find answers; other days, I simply survive, waiting for the next challenge to arise.

I reflect on the trust I placed in medical professionals and question where the balance lies between patient agency and medical expertise. The topic has caused so much anxiety and anger that it takes up countless hours of chat time with my Jan. I wonder if they ever even think about me.

The Road Ahead: Seeking Internal Growth

Writing this, I recognize that my journey advocates for a shift in how we approach medical care. Healthcare professionals should not only treat but also explore the 'why' behind health conditions. Understanding the medical components is crucial, but grasping the individual's unique biology and circumstances offers a more comprehensive approach to healing. What if there was actually trust between doctor and patient?

As I navigate this complex landscape of health, I hope we can foster discussions that prioritize what lies beneath the surface of our physical bodies. I want doctors to view patients as partners in their health journeys. Together, we can embark on a path of exploration and growth.

Doctors should educate patients about their conditions and treatment plans.

• Patients should seek to understand their health issues, which empowers them to take an active role in their care

Final Thoughts

In the relentless quest for answers to my health issues, I've realized that this journey is about more than surgeries or diagnoses. It is transforming my understanding of healthcare while allowing space for personal growth. The unanswered questions—of why my body reacts the way it does—haunt me, yet they drive me to seek knowledge and clarity.

To anyone facing similar struggles, remember that you are not alone. It is vital to advocate for yourself and to engage in meaningful conversations with your healthcare providers. Each question you ask is a step towards uncovering the larger mysteries of your health. Through inquiry, we can reveal deeper truths that lead us toward understanding and, ultimately, healing. Keep seeking those answers, and I will do the same.